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CleanJokes.com
School Jokes!
Clean laughs about teachers, homework, tests,
report cards and the mysterious disappearance of pencils.
report cards and the mysterious disappearance of pencils.
1Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
2Teacher: “Where is your homework?” Student: “I put it in a safe place.” Teacher: “Where?” Student: “That’s what makes it safe.”
3Why did the pencil get detention? It kept drawing attention to itself.
4My report card said I needed to apply myself, so I put a sticker on my forehead.
5Why did the student eat his test paper? The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
6Why did the clock get sent to the principal? It kept tocking back.
7The best subject in school is history, because at least all the mistakes have already happened.
8Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
9Teacher: “Name two pronouns.” Student: “Who, me?” Teacher: “Correct.”
10My locker is like a museum. Everything in it is old, mysterious and nobody knows how it got there.
11Why did the science teacher break up with the history teacher? There was no chemistry.
12Why did the student sit on his watch? He wanted to be on time.
13Why was the geometry class always calm? Because everyone knew how to keep things in line.
14Why did the computer go to school? To improve its byte-sized knowledge.
15School cafeteria food teaches an important science lesson: solids, liquids and unidentified materials.
16My teacher asked me to use “definitely” in a sentence. I said, “I definitely forgot to study.”
17Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
18Why did the student take a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept.
19Why was the broom late for class? It overswept.
20Homework is like a boomerang. You throw it away, and somehow it comes back.
21Why did the student bring string to class? To tie up loose ends.
22Why did the book join the police force? It wanted to go undercover.
23My backpack is so heavy, it now qualifies for its own desk.
24Why did the eraser feel confident? It knew everyone makes mistakes.
25Why did the student stare at the orange juice carton? It said “concentrate.”
26Why was the English book always invited to parties? It had great character.
27Why did the student bring a flashlight to school? Because he had a bright idea.
28The school bell is the only musician everyone obeys.
29Why did the marker quit school? It felt completely drawn out.
30My teacher said I had potential. I asked if that counted for marks.
31Why did the dictionary get detention? It was caught defining trouble.
32Why did the student bring bread to school? He heard there would be a pop quiz and wanted toast.
33Why was the chalk always calm? It knew how to draw a line.
34Why did the student bring a pillow to class? He wanted to rest his case.
35Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Her students were so bright.
36Why did the calculator look worried? It knew something didn’t add up.
37Why was the cafeteria tray promoted? It carried the whole lunch period.
38My teacher said learning never stops. That explains the homework.
39Why did the glue do well in school? It stuck with every subject.
40Why did the map get good grades? It always knew where it was going.
41Why was the principal good at gardening? He knew how to deal with growing concerns.
42Why did the student bring a door to school? He wanted to open new opportunities.
43Why did the notebook go to the nurse? It had too many lines.
44Why did the student write with a broken pencil? Because it was pointless.
45Why did the test paper look proud? It had all the answers.
46Why did the spelling bee feel nervous? It had a lot of buzz around it.
47Why did the student bring a sandwich to math class? He wanted to learn about pi with crust.
48Why did the globe win class president? It had worldwide appeal.
49Why did the student’s desk get tired? It had been supporting him all year.
50School teaches many lessons, but the most useful one is how fast everyone can pack up when the bell rings.
